This has been a bright spot in this crazy Midwest Spring weather.
Pulling in the drive with the car heater blasting under overcast skies and seeing this made my heart skip a happy beat.
Until a robin decided to start building a nest in the top…which was not cool because apparently robins do not know about the niceties of porches and welcome mats and how they are not public restrooms.
So I started removing the strands of nest foundations as they would appear.
However, I discovered robins do not play fair and employ a form of retaliation in which we had even more evidence of the activity of bird-dom via dive-bomb droppings everywhere.
Russ said I would just have to wave the white flag, remove the temptation and do without a wreath.
So for a couple of weeks this trophy of Spring has been stuck on top of the shelving by the garage.
But as I simmered inwardly every time I saw it, I decided to research ways you can keep a bird away from a wreath on your door.
One option was to hang pie tins from the porch edges…I felt that defeated the whole concept of the porch being pretty so moved along.
The next option was a video from a realtor in some southern state.
She stood in front of her wreath, speaking in an accent dripping of magnolias and sweet tea, and literally held up the nastiest rubber snake that she said she had purchased from the Dollar Store.
She then demonstrated how she weaves this thing into her wreath and leaves the head poking out just a tad … enough for the bird to see but not enough to scare anyone.
Well, nice realtor lady…I was sitting on the other side of this screen having a mild heart attack and trying to stifle the urge to scream so I don’t think so…especially after she warned that the snake she purchased was one of those that expands up to three feet with water…yeah…that’s a big no for me.
One site recommended a fake nest and a fake bird because birds are territorial and if they see a nest they will go elsewhere.
This seemed doable so I headed to Hobby Lobby in search of my ammo.
In the section dedicated to all things fake, I found a miniature nest and then I spied some colorful lizard things made of light metal…and like the Grinch hatching his Whoville holdiday-bashing plan…I rubbed my hands together and …
and for good measure…on top of the wreath tucked way out of sight…
Because the legs take away all the fear factor for me but hopefully the robins consider this nest-building goofball a threat not worth contending with…
and if you are shaking your head wondering how Russ reacted…
I have worn him down to the point where he just nodded his head and went off to the kitchen to look at the mail and munch a handful of almonds before he went for a run.