I have been working around the house today and it has been a while people.
One of those days where anything I do is helping the cause so I interspersed bouts of cleaning with more purging and also spent time going through some of those stacks of bulletins, napkins, envelope backs and receipts that perch on the edge of this computer desk.
They contain sermon notes and thoughts that I have had or someone has said that I thought needed recording and so I spent some time transferring what still made sense into a notebook I keep of ideas on things to write about.
One of the scribbles had just some basic words…and for effect I will tell you I scrawled FEAR at the top of a small lime green square of paper and under it I numbered 1 through 5.
I should also tell you that the numbers actually included a 1/2 between items 1 and 2;
six fears seemingly were recorded…
but #1/2 and #5 are completely illegible…
which is typical of my handwriting…so they are lost forever.
Although I feel strongly the word by #5 was “done” which is an odd way to end a list of fears but … we will never know.
This I do know.
They all had to do with my anxieties leading up to our trip to Cuba and I am glad I took the time to write down my fears that day.
For two reason, really.…
For one thing, I still remember they brought looming what-if fears down to the size of a post it note and I could face them and carry on.
The other reason was I can look back from today and say none of them ever happened.
Well, except ironically #5 because we did finish the trip.
So I thought I would share them with you today because maybe you have things coming up and you have some fears and when you see mine maybe you will feel a camaraderie or maybe you will think…wow…at least my fears aren’t lame like hers.
Are you ready?
- I will forget something I wished I had packed
- I will lose my passport while I’m there
- I will have tummy issues
- I will do that weird thing I do when I am nervous and shut down and miss the whole experience of connecting with people and being a part of it all
So here I am on the other side.
And let me tell you….
While none of those things happened and I thank God with all that is in me, they are all legitimate fears because they are things that can and have happened to either me or someone else and the thought of experiencing even one of those was producing a fear in me that was undermining the whole process of preparing physically and spiritually for the journey.
God tells us to cast all our anxieties on Him but I truly believe we need to take some time and nail down exactly what it is we are anxious about.
Just a blanket throwing the “feeling” of anxiety on Him is kind of silly.
Because when I wrote those items down (and I am pretty sure the day I compiled the list numbers 1/2 and 5 made perfect sense), I was focusing on some real possibilities of things that could ruin the trip for me.
But as I faced them on paper, I could think through why I was concerned and talk to God about it and pray and then yes, cast the worry that was wrapping tight around each scenario on Him and ask for His help to do my best on my end and leave the rest in His hands.
What is troubling you today? Perhaps you can take time to jot it down or voice it in a prayer and then ask God to show you your part and give the rest to Him.
I am praying right now that the Lord will open your eyes and heart to be honest before Him and then as you list those fears, you will have wisdom to know how to pray and how to release them to Him.
I pray He will guide you in the practical steps you need to avoid pitfalls where you can, and peace to know that if your fears pan out…He is with you. He will get you through.
I pray you know He is already ahead of where He is leading you but He is also right there with you each step of the journey.
Blessings and have a good weekend <3