Time seems to be accelerating and I am feeling it was only moments ago we were looking at 2018 and wondering what it held in store. Now we are days away from ringing in 2019 and I am full of all the emotions as we wind down our holiday events, reminisce about what the past year taught and look forward to getting some goals in place for the coming year.
A day before the first wave of our family was to arrive, I began to experience a tenderness in the thumb on my right hand.
By the end of Sunday evening, it was definitely swollen around the tip of the fingernail and the upper region of my thumb.
We were meeting up with Zach and Rachel for an escape room so I took full advantage of her medical degree and had her do a quick diagnosis in the the waiting area before we began the adventure.
She said it was definitely inflamed and possibly infected and recommended some treatments and things to watch for.
I couldn’t think what I did to cause it to be so sore, but eventually as a deep bruise developed under the tip of the nail bed I vaguely remembered earlier in the week I had poked something into the tip of my thumb although for the life of me I can’t recall the exact circumstances or what the object was. I just remembered hoping I had not split my fragile nail yet again..but it seemed to remain in tact so I had gone on. Because I wear polish on a regular basis, it had gone undetected until the pain manifested the problem.
Even now it remains swollen and at times the throbbing renders me unable to focus on anything except how much I wish it would heal soon. I don’t think I realized how much I use my thumb until every movement causes me discomfort at best, and deep aching at its worst.
And I actually found myself thanking God for it.
Because it was a constant reminder to me of some dear friends who limped through the past month of Christmas festivities with gaping wounds of loss.
Every twinkling light and every card that arrived or post of an intact family was a sharp reminder of the changes this year brought.
Unwelcome and unwanted changes that mean things will never completely heal or return to normal.
Because what was normal has been forever erased.
So we pray for a gentle transition to a new kind of normal and we trust and believe always in the promise that there is a peace that transcends our earthly pain.
There is a mercy gift to us when we are deep in the heaviness of loss.
Because grief comes like waves at unexpected times and each one of us processes it differently…so even as we mourn the one who is no longer with us…we must learn to make room for our own broken hearts and the hearts of those we love who grieve differently.
And we know the One who calms waves with His voice.
He commands all kinds of waves to be still.
Our God is a God of comfort and love, mercy and grace.
He knows what we are made of…flesh and blood that easily bruises and ages and gets tired.
Flesh and blood that is temporal and hardwired to rebel…and yet…He so loved us that He sent His only Son…to be one of us…so that whosoever would believe in Him will never die…but will have eternal life.
Hold fast to that promise today and every day.
May God bless and comfort those who are mourning and who are in pain.
May you know HIs Presence in real and powerful ways even as He holds you tight <3