Countdown to Christmas 2025…Day 15

If you remember, the theme of this year was the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

I have one memory that keeps popping up under the Ugly category that I have pushed away a few times. Which means, of course, it is probably one that will resonate the most with some of you.

It seems to work that way for me, the posts I least want to write are the ones that most need to be heard. 

This tale of Christmas past takes us to my early teen years. I was probably a freshman in high school at the time. 

My parents gave me a Christmas Club every year in my stocking. If you are not familiar, you got a book from the bank with deposit coupons. It was a slender packet that looked a bit like a check book. I loved it. The bank tore off the deposit portion and you kept the little stubs showing your current balance.

They would open it with an initial deposit and then I could add money throughout the year from my allowance and babysitting money. I think they put a little in as well through the months.

At Christmas time, I had a nice little sum to spend on gifts for family and friends, wiith some interest built up. It was so fun to take the book into the bank and receive an envelope of cash. 

This particular year, I took my pot of gold downtown with friends and shopped for everyone on my list. 

I was so economical in my gift giving, I had enough left to buy myself some personal items. Coming from a family who lived with a depression hangover mentality, my mom was very frugal about our underwear. 

As I shopped the big department store in town, I caught sight of some very nice items that suited my shiny new things soul. So I bought a couple of pairs of fancy underwear for myself. I told you this was going to be ugly. 

When I got home with my parcels, I headed to the wrapping station with my gifts. Then I showed my mom what I had bought for myself. 

Up to this point, nothing in me had questioned my motives or actions. 

This changed rapidly. 

My mom was less than pleased that I had purchased things for myself with my Christmas Club money. She also was aghast that I had spent so much on something that in her opinion was a luxury upgrade that I didn’t need. 

I felt ashamed and selfish for having bought these things for myself with Christmas money that should have been spent on others. I said I would take the items back and do something different with the money. 

Here is where the story becomes a bit more complicated. 

My mom told me to not do that. She suggested I save the tickets and use them as a reminder of…

Now, I know you are thinking she was going to say not to be selfish. That is what I was expecting. 

But no, you and I would both be wrong. 

My mom said, save the tickets and see over time if the money I had spent proved to be a wise decision. I was so confused. 

For years I kept those little tickets in my jewelry box. They produced much food for thought, obviously, since I am still mulling it over. 

I learned that the pricier items I had purchased actually did last longer than the cheaper counterparts provided by my parents from the PX at Fort Knox. 

I have relearned that lesson many times. 

Like my mother told me that day as I gingerly stored those tickets in a place I would see everyday…You get what you pay for.

I have learned time and again, it is better to purchase quality than try to save on cheaper items that don’t last. There is wisdom in purchasing less items but choosing the best rather than buying a lot of cheaply produced things. 

But still…after all these years…I am baffled by the encounter with my mom. 

I know she was disappointed in my selfishness, yet she took the time to make a teachable moment out of the whole debacle. 

There are so many levels to this particular Christmas memory. 

The dynamics between my mother and me, the dual lesson learned about my decision to spend my remaining Christmas money on myself, the value of purchasing well-made items that last and a deeper truth that took me so many years to learn.

There are times when your child will do something that deeply disappoints you. As you stand there trying to process how they could have made the choice they made, the mind and heart run on multiple levels and alongside the discipline you wish to instill, you see some life lessons you want them to glean. 

I wonder now if my mom, like I have done a thousand times, walked away that day wishing she had said something different. 

I wonder if she went over the whole thing and questioned her parenting. 

I wonder if she even remembered the tickets in my jewelry box or what she said that left an impression on me that has held a spot in my memories. 

I wonder what I have said, or taught, or modeled that has impacted any of our children and grandchildren. 

I wonder if my words, thrown out in a moment when my mom heart was reeling to stay above water in that instant, will be echoing through the years for them. 

I wonder what “tickets” they have tucked in their own “jewelry boxes” will follow them through the days when I am no longer here, trying to guide and direct and love and shape even as they are all grown and flown.

I hope, most of all, they learn like I have that for mothers and fathers who love their children, our greatest lesson is that mistakes can have redemption. My mother took the high road and decided to teach me about wise investment in my purchases..

She probably hoped I would also learn to be less selfish.

She succeeded in both.

And I am grateful.

<3