A passing that has given me much pause to ponder <3

I have been following the tragic death of the actress who played the coach’s daughter in “Remember the Titans.” I will not be typing her name, A. because I don’t want to figure out how to spell it and B. search engines being what they are, I don’t want someone to find my thoughts whilst tracking down more details on her. 

If you are not on social media, this young actress died last week from a presumed overdose. There are all kinds of rabbit trail stories involving her friend group, associates, ex-husband and mother that I am not very interested in. I don’t follow all of those stories. 

I lost track of her after “Remember the Titans” because I never watch much TV and I don’t even recognize the names of any of the shows she was a part of in all the years since that movie. 

I just remember her cute little face and spicy personality and that is one movie that I never mind watching again. I love it. 

So I look at the photos of her as an adult that are being shared in my feed and my heart aches. She was beautiful. In her photos her eyes shine and her smile is wide and warm. Just like the part she played in “Remember the Titans”, she draws you in and you just feel the energy and sass and yet something that seems like warmth and loyalty. 

And I pause and try to figure how this matches up with a woman who is said to have struggled with addiction, depression and an apparent penchant for running with the wrong crowd. 

I look a the exterior and see nothing that indicates what the interior must have looked like.

And I shake my head in disbelief because she looks so happy. 

Then I remind myself she was an actress.

She was good at portraying what was needed in the moment. For the camera, the smile and the eyes and the warmth and the happiness were a role, I guess, that she played for the public?

I don’t know, because I really don’t know her and I’m not about to spend more time trying to figure her out through the accounts of others who may or may not have known her that well either. 

But I am left with my own pondering of how easily I assume that a beautiful smile means a person is happy. I can believe that the images I see portrayed on social media, in public settings like a church lobby or the sidelines of a game, can be deceptive. 

I also question our culture’s hunger for entertainment that allows people to become celebrities who smile for endless cameras while their inner world is collapsing. I weep that we assign personalities to the famous based on their looks and roles they have played. 

It is a perplexing part of humanity and I can only think on the things God has spoken to keep us grounded in what is right in front of us:

In 1 Corinthians 4:5 we are told not to judge anything before its time, but wait for the Lord, who will bring all hidden things to light and expose the motives of the heart.

John 7:24 teaches us to not judge by outward appearances. 

Hebrews 5:14 , 1 John 4:1 and 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 encourage us to seek the Lord for discernment of spirits so that we can distinguish between good and evil. 

I need to remember that the appearances of people around me do not necessarily tell the whole story. In prayer daily, I can ask God to see others in my path with His eyes and always, always, I have the gift to pray for them even if I don’t have the opportunity to know what rests beneath the smile. 

I am saddened for the loss of her life to something she tried to escape from. I am saddened there is no mention of faith for her. And I am alarmed how easily I am fooled by appearances.

Much to ponder.

Much to pray about.