One of my devotions today was about the dreams God plants in our hearts as children for what our future will be.
The author knew in fifth grade she wanted to be involved in business and has seen God move her into that dream over the years.
My mom used to tell me I had fulfilled my greatest hope for my life when she would visit and I was up to my elbows in diapers and dishes with one kid hanging off the hem of my pants as I tried to move around the kitchen stepping over toys and debris from lunch.
She would remind me that I filled out every “When I grow up, I want to be….” with the words….a wife and a mother.
What I didn’t know when I was scribbling those words in pencil on lines of cheap tablet paper and practicing for hours with baby dolls in a play kitchen in our basement is that wife and mother are not occupations…they are relationships.
And they change over the years.
They have seasons and we all know change is not my forte…however…God is and He has been so faithful to teach me how to be what is needed for my family as they have moved into new phases while I try to hold fast to the past deep in this stubborn, slow to adapt heart of mine.
I am a doer and fixing meals, washing clothes, keeping the calendar, micro-managing everyone’s every move…those were the highlight years of this gig.
These days, though, the birds are making their way on their own. And I have to find new ways to love them and support them. I didn’t see this part coming. And sometimes it is hard to adjust to the changes…but…
They aren’t a project, they are people…with choices and consequences…they have jobs and friends I don’t always know…they pay bills and support causes…and if we can get one or two times in a year where we are all in the same place for a few minutes, we thank God and snap a picture.
And daily I am reminded that the order of the desire the Lord placed on my heart was to be a wife first and then a mother.
Daily I thank God for the years He has given me with Russ and I am humbled that one such as I should be able to say I still get to do that thing God laid on my heart so many years ago.
He is not finished with me in my role.
As I continue to seek His will for my days, He shows me the ever-expanding legacy of family.
Seeds planted and sown…watered with tears and prayers…fruit in season and out of season…all in His timing.
All His idea to begin with…and to end with <3