As I remember….
Just a quick thought on a rainy Friday here in the Midwest.
On Tuesday, I had posted on the website before we headed north for the day. As always…short on time, so I “proofread” on my phone in the car.
When I got up there, I asked Rachel if I could sign on their computer and correct a couple of typos. She said of course, and I sat down and found the link for WordPress. The familiar sign-in page came up and I entered my name and password.
But it didn’t take it…hmmmm…I tried again and still had it wrong. With WordPress, if you have three failed attempts you are locked out and that is a nightmare I absolutely want to avoid.
So I cringed knowing I would have to live with people reading my mistakes. I told Rachel I knew I had typed it correctly, what did she think was the deal?
She asked if I looked at the keys as I typed.
Of course not.
I never look at the keys. I don’t even say the letters and symbols correctly as I type. I have typed it so many times, I just say it in my head the way I call it (sort of like the way I call all family members the wrong name, even though I know exactly who I am talking to), which if I wrote down what I was saying would be incorrect.
Or muscle memory as our smarter-than-me daughter told me.
She said I have memorized the keys according to the two keyboards I use to sign in and their keyboard is probably different enough that it threw me.
I may be shooting myself in the foot here when I go to sign on later, but I never have a problem remembering and getting into various locked websites and apps. It isn’t that I actually have the password memorized to the point that I can tell you what it is; it’s just that I have typed it so many times it’s part of my brain process.
I cannot for the life of me write out my frequently used passwords or speak them to someone who needs to access an account.
I looked it up today and this is a real thing. Muscle memory in this case is is when neurons in the hand “memorize” the specific hand movements and send them to the brain where they are stored and sent back to the fingers when at a keyboard again.
It made me think about my capacity to do things so out of habit that I don’t really know how to do it in situations where the “keyboard” is different.
I am kind and patient until the person who needs kindness and patience is so out of my realm of understanding that I flounder and forget the basics.
I pray and sing praises, until the thing I thought God would surely do He doesn’t do, and I grasp for words and tunes that I know I should be voicing but they are kind of clanging gongs.
I trust God in all the ways and lean not on my understanding until all the ways are completely going south to my sense of true north and then I start trying to figure things out and help God because clearly He is unaware of the chaos.
There are other examples…these are just a few…where my “spiritual muscle memory” has supplanted my discipline to read and apply and study and know God’s word.
For you at FCC, this Proverbs challenge to read the assigned chapter every day for seven days has been helping me overcome this a bit more. By reading one passage over and over all week, I am not just nodding my head but actually beginning to have the word sink deep into my thinking and actions.
Now it is time to end this and copy/paste and then open my website…so nervous…hoping my fingers remember what my brain can’t….
Blessings on you
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms on Sunday!
Hugs for all the ones who are missing mom.
You are sweet and loved <3