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It isn’t all bad to feel bad…

Our church is studying the book of Samuel and after just the first two sermons, I have had some soul searching to do….


First there is the bit about Eli the Priest who let his two sons get completely out of control with ungodly behavior and did nothing…absolutely nothing…to stop them.

Here he was the leader of the Temple and his sons were committing unthinkable sins and he was powerless to convince them to change at best or remove them at least.

And I recognize my own reticence to confront sin; to speak up when something is wrong…

and worse yet…

to totally miss the voice of conviction in my own life…

explaining away…

blaming others…

making excuses…

instead of repentance.

Instead of standing firmly on the Truth of God’s Word…

I worry more about hurting someone’s feelings (including my own) and care too little about offending God.


I realize there is a biblical way to do this…a way that is full of both Grace and Truth…but the effort to find that way is not the most pressing thing on my mind when I am confronted with blatant sin in myself or someone else and so I shrink back from conflict.

And I realize that God is the judge, but I also believe that His Word is clear on what is sin and what is not and rather than get in a debate or argument …. or try to keep the peace….really all that is called for is to speak the truth in love.

Because real love doesn’t look the other way and pretend like everything is okay.

And real love doesn’t march in and destroy.

Real love throws us to our knees asking God for guidance and courage and strength to live and speak TRUTH in a world that thinks there is no such thing.


Then there was last Sunday where Josh talked to us with reassuring words that God hears and God cares when we cry out to Him.

And again, I left having to ask myself if my heart is right with God on this issue.

Because I have to admit, I want it all to work out.

I want God to act.

I love it when He comes through.

But the words of our pastor were clear.

The assurance he gave us over and over was this…

When you cry out to God…

He hears…

and He cares.


So I dig down deep in this fragile heart of mine and ask myself…

Will that be enough?

Is it enough, Laura, that the God of the Universe…

the Creator of all things…

the One who saved you and rescued you from darkness…

the One who sought you before you even knew Him…

that when you cry out…

is it enough…

that He hears


that He cares?


These questions and thoughts prod at me.

They are not happy faith ponderings.

These are not politically correct questions that God confronts me with.

To be honest…they make me feel “bad” about me…

and that is actually very good…

because that is where more of my old nature is exposed…

where more of what needs to be cleansed and healed is restored.

This is where some growth happens…

and where He truly becomes greater and I become less.

I need Him greater.

The world doesn’t need my analysis of situations

my judgments of right and wrong

my commentary

or speculations.

They need the Eternal Word of Truth.

Whether they want to hear it or not.

Whether it makes them feel bad or not.


Job answered God:

“I’m convinced: You can do anything and everything.
    Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, ‘Who is this muddying the water,
    ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?’
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
    made small talk about wonders way over my head.
You told me, ‘Listen, and let me do the talking.
    Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.’
I admit I once lived by rumors of you;
    now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears!
I’m sorry—forgive me. I’ll never do that again, I promise!
    I’ll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor.”

Job 42:1-6   The Message

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