That old “foot in mouth” disease gets us every time <3
One of the things I miss from social media are the funny memes where someone comments in a humorous way on every day life.
I had read one post earlier this year where a mom asked why when her husband takes the kids to the park or grocery store, people come up and tell him what a good dad he is. From her perspective, she has never once been told she is a good mom for doing the same thing far more often; as in just about every day of her life.
Then last week I found myself outside a dance class in a narrow hallway waiting for Caroline, holding a bag with her dinner from Jimmy John’s in it with one hand whilst firmly grasping the hoods of two squirming brothers who were full of all manner of silliness amidst a variety of moms with their hair up in buns and leggings and holding their own bags of dance shoes and thermoses and also corralling other children.
Into our gathering strolled a man with a little girl in tow. She was carrying her dance bag and slipping her crocks off to put on her ballet slippers. Another dad, also with one child beside him hailed him with a hearty greeting of…”So I see you are doing the dad thing tonight, toot!”
His comrade nodded and explained how his wife asked him to run the little one to dance as it was her only chance to work out that day so he figured he would help her out.
I glanced around to the women in the crowded corridor and saw several eye rolls. I myself, having done this with two daughters and now repeating the task with Sweet Caroline a few decades later, was very close to saying I would applaud but my hands were full from coats and backpacks and years in the trenches doing the “mom” thing.
Okay…my sarcasm is meant to make you laugh…not be angry.
These dads felt quite proud that they were helping out with something that to most of us women would seem to be part of their job description as a parent.
Russ has an expression for times like this and it is “know your audience.’
In other words, before you speak out in a crowd, take note of who your words will be falling on and think about the impact your words will have on hearers you were not intending to address, but inadvertently will be listening.
I have often told dads they are “good dads” when they tote kids to practice or are helping with homework. But I also tell moms they are “good moms” for doing the same.
However, I am well aware of other times where I have casually carried on a conversation with someone over the heads of a crowd of people I don’t really know. I have made general statements without thinking about how my words might sound to any and everyone who I am including in the scope of my voice.
Typically it is when I am trying to be funny that later I wince at how that may have sounded to someone who doesn’t share my sense of humor.
It was a good lesson to me the other night to read the crowd and make sure the words I speak take into consideration all who will have to hear my comments. I also want to be thoughtful in what I am saying to someone directly who may be in a season where my joking may strike a raw place in the soul.
Not everything I think needs to be said and I would do well to pause before I hit play on my words.
Otherwise, I risk becoming a “meme’ that isn’t so funny.