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When all you hear is nothing


Yesterday was a very special occasion in our home and family. Our little Joel turned one and there was no small amount of photos and texts sent back and forth as we celebrated, from three states, the birth of this little bundle of cuteness.


As people do on such days, I reminisced over the events from a year ago.

Joel, like his brothers, went past his due date. But he managed to give us a run for our money unlike the others.

We had several false alarms where it seemed labor was setting in. With an hour drive time between us, Papi and I lived on pins and needles for a few weeks.

We started and ended each day with a Plan A/Plan B mentality.

In spite of all that mental preparation, when they actually called us in the wee hours of deepest sleep; we did manage to pull off a scene worthy of Ricky and Lucy running around the bedroom “Like chickens with our heads cut off” as my dad would have called it.

However, even this turned out to be a false alarm and so all notified family returned home and I camped out on the couch up there to wait some more.

By the time Mr. Joel decided to really make his appearance with a repeat performance around 3 AM on the following day; we were all sleep deprived in the worst way.

As I watched his mommy and daddy drive off in the dark, I knew for a fact that we would be having a baby within hours.

Since I would be responsible for getting the big brother’s ready for the important first visit and manning the communication station for the rest of the grandparents, I made the initial calls and got myself completely ready for the day.

I used the flashlight on my phone to find my way to the shower so I wouldn’t wake the boys.

Too excited to sleep, I got a coffee and sat on the couch…checking my phone every few minutes for updates. The clock ticked away…the sun began to rise…nothing…I couldn’t believe NO ONE was letting me know anything.

I decided to call Russ and that is when I realized my phone was on airplane mode. Yes, while messing with the flashlight feature, I had somehow managed to place my phone in a zone where no one could reach me.


The minute I switched it, a rush of texts and voicemails came through from Zach and from the other grandparents who were scurrying to make their way to the big event. The last note from Zach was heralding birth any moment.

In one of the most crucial times for communication to be open, I had accidentally made it impossible to receive the information I was longing to hear.

I didn’t do it on purpose.

I didn’t do it willfully.

Just in ignorance, I cut myself off from this vital connection at a key time.

Sometimes I wonder if this same thing happens when I most desperately need to hear from God.

I sit in the dark, waiting and watching, and yet somehow I have managed to flip a switch that is preventing me from hearing His voice.


I blame Him….when really…it’s on my end.

One of my favorite passages is the promise that we WILL find Him…when we seek Him…with our WHOLE heart.

If we are feeling disconnected from God, perhaps it is time to open our hearts and see if there is something we have managed to shut off that is now blocking His ability to communicate with us.


Some of my spiritual “airplane modes” seem to be when I get so busy with my activities that I neglect just spending time soaking in God’s presence. I get my blinders on, not out of rebellion but out of over-commitment to doing good things.

When I feel like I am not hearing from God, that is a good time to check my own ability to listen. I find that when I ask God where I may have cut myself off from His voice – He is always ready and willing to show me the problem and help me correct it.

May God bless you today to find some quiet time to commune and communicate with the One who made you, knows you and loves you so much <3

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