An open letter to Sweet Caroline…
Yesterday as we drove in the van to transport you to your mommy so she could carry you on to dance class, you told me that today would be “Good Friday.” With all the justice you could muster in your five year old, Jesus-loving, tender hearted way you said with disdain that it shouldn’t be called good. It should be Bad Friday because Jesus was killed.
Like every parent and grandparent before me who knows that without this day we would be eternally lost and separated from God, when asked by their child why it’s called good and not bad, I took a breath and prayed my words would hold meaning for you.
Because I am too wordy, Caroline. And because this is the most important thing your mommy and daddy, and all four grandparents want you and the band of brothers to understand.
Our sins deserve death and even our death would not pay the price they cost. We were hopelessly….eternally lost.
But God is so good that He made a way from the very beginning. Way back in the first garden, He had already anticipated what our frail humanity would cost Him in the last garden.
Even as He killed the first of His creation and made coverings for Adam and Eve, He was planning the perfect sacrifice that would cover all the sins of the world.
You are so little and so sweet. Occasionally you are selfish or disobedient and we have to discipline you.But at this point in your life and with your natural tendency to do what is right, your infractions seem minor. It is hard when I look into the clarity that is your gray/green eyed innocence to tell you that you are born a sinner.
But you are.
And sin of others and sin of the fallen world will muddy your soul and spirit just because you will be marked by it over time.
So was I and so was Papi, so were mommy and daddy and Gammy and Papa and while sometimes we seem to be quite flawed in you and your brothers’ eyes, you do not yet know the depth of sin that we were capable of.
Of what we are capable of still, given the right set of circumstances.
You do not see the brokenness and diseases of our souls that have brought us to the place where when we try to tell you why Good Friday is good, we pause and swallow a lump and pray our words will hit the target of your own heart.
You don’t see us praying in the wee hours of the night and throughout the day for you four. You don’t know yet that our greatest hope is to one day be worshipping our God and King side by side with all those who we love so dearly here on earth.
But I know the love of Jesus is already planted deep inside that little chest that holds your heart and lungs and keeps you going full speed.
I see His watering of seeds in you and in your brothers and be assured as long as we, who love imperfectly and yet with the greatest depth of passion humanly possible, have breath in our own lungs, we will be praying for you to know Him and grasp how deep and wide, how long and high His love for you is.
But for now, just know…it IS Good Friday, because God is so very good <3