I’m looking out over our snowy back yard and I have to say if you are going to be cold, you may as well have a blanket of white snow to brighten things up!
Okay…yes…I am one of those annoying people who actually enjoy winter. However, when the heat and humidity of summer roll around…I will be the crabby one struggling with my attitude.
And boy do I ever struggle with my attitude on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes the refining in this process is so painful it is like a slap in the face.
A few weeks ago I was coming home from my day with the boys. I had set up to meet with some friends at a particular time and leaving those three little cuties is always a challenge so, of course, I had cut it to the wire.
I had taken one of the backroads to avoid the after-work traffic in town. I was making good time until I got to my entrance ramp and it was blocked by a police car. A young patrolmen was directing traffic as cars scrambled to make u-turns and redirect themselves.
I assumed there was some kind of roadwork being done on the ramp, so I rerouted myself to get back on the northbound portion of the highway. As soon as I could make another U-turn, I got back on the road home only to find myself facing another police car directing me back to … the same young officer in the bright orange vest, waving a flashlight and preventing me from getting on the ramp.
By now, I was really late…my blood pressure was soaring…and my directionally-challenged panic mode was in high gear.
I was fuming that they were doing road work at this time of night when so many commuters were heading home. I was frustrated with the whole “system” that was blocking me from where I needed to go.
Thankfully they had a detour sign set up, so I followed the line of cars hoping they would lead me to the highway since I had no idea where I was at this point.
But as we proceeded just a few blocks on the detour, the landscape flattened and I could see we were parallel to the highway and actually curving toward it.
I could also see massive numbers of first responders at what ended up being revealed as a terrible accident.
And all of a sudden…me being a little late to a friend’s house kind of seemed like not that big of a deal.
Keep in mind that I had ASSUMED we were being rerouted because of poorly timed road construction. And I had been ranting and raving about this assumption throughout the whole process.
At this point in my life, you would think I could no longer be shocked at how selfish and immature I can be.
As I took in the horrific details of the accident and saw all the firemen, paramedics and policeman working to untangle the mess; I did several things.
Even as I wanted to pray for all that I was seeing, I realized that out of the same mouth…cannot coming cursing and blessing so…
I confessed that I still have in me a quickness of temper that flares when things are not going my way and a self-centeredness that puts me first and blinds me to others.
I thanked God that He is so patient with me and that He knows this about me and He doesn’t give up on me.
I asked Him to continue to clean out this old nature that rises up; thankfully less often than it used to…but still has some roots down in my spirit…and I invited Him to invade this heart with even more of Him so that….
I could pray for the men and women who were working that night, for what they had seen and what they would remember. I could pray for those involved in the accident and those whose lives would be changed because of it.
We are all works in progress.
Every day we have the opportunity to marvel at how God has changed us and realistically face places where He is still working.
I pray we would all continue to keep our hearts and lives openly exposed before Him, allowing Him to do the transforming work in us that only He can do.
…. journey onward…with Him <3