And the circle goes on and on in a sweet path of grace <3

As many of you know, we started walking through the “sandwich years” with my aging parents and aunt whilst finishing raising kids in junior high, high school and college. Being the daughter of older parents (mom 39 and dad 40 when I made my appearance on planet earth) and fairly young when we started our family, we did all of that in an already hectic season of life.

I didn’t want to lose the years with our children but had to balance them with ways I could care for and support my older family. I prayed about it and remembered that God does not have more than one place for me to be at a time. He knew my physical limits and I needed to check guilt at the door and just seek Him when it seemed I was being torn in different directions.

When there were conflicts for where I could and should be, I would pray and discern where the one place only I could be was and that is where I would go. Sometimes it was with an elderly person and sometimes with the younger set. It wasn’t always where I wanted to be, but I stopped feeling bad about where I wasn’t called to go and thanked Him for those who could be there for a child or an elderly family member.

He was faithful and we navigated it well. I made myself promise that when my friends with younger parents were doing a bang up job taking care of them from an empty nest, I would not feel guilty.

I have had to hold myself accountable a few times. 

I was so grateful for people who provided church services, entertainment (I see you multiple Elvis impersonators), activity directors, van drivers and assorted friends and clergy who would go and visit my family when I couldn’t. 

When our church started an outreach to the various care facilities, independent living centers and memory care units around town a few years ago, I felt a tug to go to the informational meeting.

I did do a heart check and make sure I wasn’t just operating out of guilt debt. I wasn’t. 

The first meeting I sat with a younger than me woman who had just lost her mom. She had struggled with memory issues and this friend was drawn to serve at one of the places that specializes in caring for those with dementia and Alzheimer’s. I felt a kindred heart for her and signed up for the same. 

When I did my long term sub job two years ago, Russ graciously filled in for me and now goes with us on Tuesdays providing the communion message. 

I love going. I love the faces and grieve when I see the inevitable downward spiral and then the empty chair. I don’t mind reintroducing myself every week to the same people and sometimes multiple times within a visit. 

I play along with whatever story they have about life there or how we know each other. I accept that I may seem like a daughter or a neighbor or an old friend. Or a complete stranger. 

It’s okay. 

They are trying to make sense of the world as it is for them and I have no problem affirming that they are wonderful and beautiful and I am so glad to see them. Again and again and again.

But the part of this that hits tenderly is that family who have finally said goodbye to their loved one will come back for the church service. They smile and cry and sing along and listen to the message and take communion.

Not because they have to but because they want to.  

I understand. 

The gatherings were a place where they found a place of peace in the midst of grieving the decline of a loved one. And that place is right at the footstool of the God who held us all through the hardest times. 

Now He holds us as we both feel relief that the suffering has ended and the sorrow that our loved one is really gone from among us. 

Luke 12:48 tells us that to whom much is given, much is required. I think this is a beautiful truth of serving. We give but are rewarded so generously that we just want to give back even more and the cycle continues. 

Others gave to my family, I am giving to others, and others give to us again and so we give and on and on it goes. 

A lovely circle of love from our loving God.