How are you doing?


I have personally experienced a mid-Covid breakdown this week and have talked to several others who would say amen…the struggle is real. 

Maybe it’s the increased heat and humidity. 

Maybe it’s just too many months since the shock factor when we were told we had 24 hours to circle the wagons, stock up on supplies…good luck if you wanted toilet paper…and life as we knew it came to a screeching halt. 

Maybe it’s that the good feeling of “we are all in this together” has been blown to smithereens as the gloves have come off and we are more polarized than ever in these “united” states. 

Maybe it’s that the places where we used to go when we were feeling the way we are feeling are no longer the places that bring us comfort but just add to the strangeness. 

And maybe it’s that all of this has brought out the startling truth that, speaking for myself here, the comforts and “blessings” of this life I now refer to as normal, were far too important to me. 

Maybe the things that I considered significant inconveniences were actually just tiny blips on the radar screen of life on planet earth. 

All I know is on Sunday we went to big church.

In our masks.

Appropriately social distanced.

I sat down in the pew and looked around me and the tears started. As a side note, crying in a mask is about as comfortable as sneezing in one is. But I couldn’t stop the water fall. 

I didn’t even miss singing because I usually don’t sing in church. I have a range of about 5 notes so I kind of speak the words and let my spirit ride on the music and please don’t tell me about how God doesn’t care and He loves my voice. He hears my voice a lot and He hears me sing by myself, but I was raised by a man who could play the piano by ear and while I can’t carry a tune, I am highly able to appreciate good music and cringe at bad music and when I know I am not hitting the notes correctly and someone who is gifted to do so is, I just let them do their thing while I worship in my spirit.

So I just listened and hummed and spoke the words and I was almost free of the tears until we hit the part in the song that says…when darkness hides His lovely face …and it was too close to home. 

All of a sudden I could picture God wearing a mask that covers His face. 

And I thought how like Him to go through the same stuff we are going through.  


Darkness covering His lovely face. 

The tears fell because in the midst of all of this season, at times I have felt the disconnect from community to blur into a sense of disconnect from God. 

And what does the song declare further? 

When I can’t see His face…I will rest…REST…on His unchanging grace.*

In the midst of daily changes in facts reported, allegations made, theories bandied about – His grace has not changed. 

No matter what roller coaster my emotions may ride or the lives around me that I love that are being rocked back and forth by decisions that affect all of us and yet we have absolutely zero control over…He is the anchor that remains unmoved. 

I pray you are holding up if this has gone on too long for you. Short of a miracle, we have a ways to go.

If you find yourself having a meltdown every now and again, remember that you are held. Tight and firm and safe in the unchanging love of God. Maybe google the song below and sing along with the lyrics. Let them fill you with the Hope of Christ again <3

Grace. Amazing grace has not been canceled and remains unchanged, as powerful as ever. 

* My Hope is Built on Nothing Less by Bob Kauflin

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  1. So good to read your words that so reflect the absolute fatigue I feel sometimes with Co-vid and polarization we are experiencing. I feel exasperated and long for “ normalcy” Then I think I understand that God is using this to bring us ( me) closer to Him! I find myself listening to comforting hymns and music more than ever before ! Thanks for your insightful and comforting thoughts and words.

    1. Thank you for your kind words. We are never safer than we are resting in Him! Bless you!

  2. Amazing Grace is my choice!or How Great thou Art, In the Garden, Majesty! I have 20 I could name and I wish I could do what you do, cry, I get ticked off at those who simply do not care about others around them, really burns me when others are so selfish, I often tell them about it too. but, I am an old dame, I have two canes I could use if necessary. I try to repeat the St Francis of Assisi bit, it helps, gets my mind off of ME! I tell you, Laura, I worry about the world in general, such evil, but- good will win out. I remember the good times, they will come again,,, I pray a lot ,asking for more strength and courage and not to be a whiny butt–I am human! think of you and thank you for being there for all of us, you are special! Blessings, M

  3. Thank you for always being transparent to your emotions and feelings that many of us have, but are unable to declare with the same eloquence as God has blessed you…. especially since you can’t carry a tune;-)

    1. This THIS…blessed me! Thank you for stopping by and staying long enough to read! Almost didn’t post it…thought it was just a bit tooooo transparent. Glad I did <3

  4. Dear Laura, where is the AMEN button? Very glad I wasn’t alone in those feelings and thoughts on Sunday, so alone and masked and distanced on our first Sunday back to real church. It’s been a long four months. Hard on us, our kids, our grandkids. But God’s got this, it was actually in his plan (what in the world was he thinking?), and I have to hang onto that assurance. Thank you for your written affirmation, Friend.

    1. Jennie…what a complete surprise and delight to see your comment. Thank you. Thankful God gave me the words <3

    1. God bless you! and a big AMEN!! I can say with all truth – He has never failed me once. And yes…in all the darkest of times, my own dark and the dark of the world…He is faithful!

    1. Then the works that were set in place for me yesterday were accomplished by His grace and help. Thank you for taking time to let me know <3

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