I’m happy…but…

Wherever you are, I hope you are enjoying some cooler days and changes in the trees and whatever it is about Fall that you love so much.

Here in God’s country…or the Midwest as you may call it…the humidity has broken, the leaves are starting to turn, harvest is happening and whatever you put on in the morning is going to still be okay at 2 PM…because….no more 25 degree changes in temperature over the course of a few hours. Hallelujah!

Last weekend Rachel and company came down for the Betsy Smith Walk and then we headed to the zoo with them. We got to take the boys in our car so it was a lively ride. Graham kept up a steady flow of conversation as is his custom.I don’t know where he gets that.

At one point he asked if we were going to our house. I reminded him we were making a stop at the zoo.

He talked a bit about our zoo and asked if we had a tiger. I told him no and, even though I have seen the tiger at his zoo numerous times, he didn’t want to miss the opportunity to talk about that animal that fascinates him on every visit.

But it was how he told us that caught my heart….

“I’m sooooooooooooo glad we have a…I mean…I am sad that our other tiger died…..BUT I am glad that we have a new tiger.”

It wasn’t the words so much as the tone that accompanied each phrase.

He started out excited and then caught himself. As he remembered how they got the new tiger, his voice became appropriately somber and then, after a respectful pause, he swung into happy again.

The old tiger was feeble. It didn’t move around much due its age and illness. Then the habitat display had remained sadly empty for quite a while.

Then this spring, the zoo took in a magnificent 10 year old fellow that is on the endangered species list.

The new tiger is active and when he rises up and turns that big beautiful head to gaze into your eyes…well that’s quite a show to sustain two busy little guys’ interest.

We certainly don’t have to caution them to stand back from the fence!

And so, of course, he is very glad to have this addition to his beloved zoo.

But even a four year old realizes that in-with-the-new, means something old has to go.

Because that is our human story.

I wanted to tell him he had just summed up the ebb and flow of life. I wanted to tell him I understand.

I am so glad that he is growing up; but I am sad as each phase ends.

I love that he runs to us calling our names loudly and it makes my heart soar. And I will be so proud to go someday and watch him play sports or learn an instrument or, if he is true to his genetics, do both!

But I will miss that exuberant little boy

who blurts out whatever is on his mind and cries freely or laughs hysterically depending on the mood and could care less what others think of either outburst.

I will be sad because this season will have passed. Our little guy will have to grow and change. And we will be happy…and sad…and happy.

Life is a mixture of many “I’m happy, but I’m sad, but I’m happy’s”.

Finding balance in the midst will always be a bit of a struggle…but a struggle we wouldn’t miss for anything.

I am so thankful that when I am floating so closely between the happy’s and sad’s that they can get all mixed up together…

…..I can know that one thing never changes and that is our God.

He is the same…yesterday…today…forever.

Our constant in the midst of all the ups and downs and in-betweens of life.

What is your fill in the blank for this experience today?

What is your….I am happy about __________________ but sad about __________________ but happy because _______________?

Maybe it is reversed and your happy is sandwiched between two sad’s….or a lot of sad’s.

May God bless you, each one of you, whatever happy’s and sad’s you are stretched between.

I hope you sense His presence holding you firmly and tenderly.

I pray you find your balance in Him <3