So I told you yesterday I was praying and considering if I wanted to share the letter we wrote in the afternoon session that day. We had let our Fear tell us what it wanted us to know, so in the afternoon session, our hostess and leader talked about the voice of Love and what it might want to say to us.
I will repeat in case you didn’t read yesterday’s Randoms, she said she has found when she looks at her list of fear and the looks at the things of Love- the Love things can help cancel out the fear.
God says it like this through the writings of the apostle John…
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.1 John 4:18
I don’t think of that as condemnation when I fear. I see it as a reminder that I need to return to a place where I can be reminded of God’s love for me and in that place I am “perfected” so that fear has no place in me.
I have read through my letter that Love wrote me, and I cried as I was reminded of how God opened my heart wider while I wrote out the message of my thoughts. I want to share portions of it, because as I wrote, I reflected on the individuals who receive the lion’s share of my people-directed love – our family.
As I looked over what I wrote, each word is kind and loving and precious…but too private to share and perhaps would be embarrassing for them. They have always been so gracious to let me be transparent about my “journey” and so far as I know I have not overstepped so much into their personal journey that I have caused them to wish their mom would have held back on that thought…or picture….they give me a lot of grace and I don’t want to abuse it.
I may let them know privately what I wrote because I would always want them to know the special place they hold in my heart…maybe…we shall see.
But here are the portions I want to share with you as I hope perhaps some of it will resonate with you and drive out some fears today.
This is your love talking and this is what I want to tell you.
I am most intense in those moments when your heart literally feel like it is going to burst wide open and there is a physical pain in your chest that is sacred.
Lately I see it most in the tender and common moments with your family and friends. Caroline’s eyes when she tells you what’s on her heart and the way her hair curls in the back and gazillion variations of blonde and brown.
At this point I moved on and pictured each family member and the “moments” recently when in the midst of the most ordinary of circumstances, my heart expanded so incredibly with a deep love that I had to stop and catch my breath.
None of them were trying to earn my love or catch my attention in those moments. It was just who they are and what they bring to my life that filled me so full and my heart turned to God in gratitude for the gift of them.
So it was with each one of our family.
And as I finished with the last one and whatever impression came to mind was jotted down on paper, I ended with this.
And the love for them just tightens your chest until you think your heart will burst and bleed out and you will dissolve into a thousand glittering stars of pure light.
I was not surprised by the intensity and purity of what Love would tell me.
It is love of family that transcends circumstances and overcomes adversity. It is love that decides that whatever our differences are, what holds is together is too strong to give up on.
It is love that bends and reaches out, no matter what.
It is love that chooses to stay in for the long haul.
It is love that is born because we were first loved by Christ, and it is His love and His example that keeps us doing the hard work.
It is His love that fuels my love.
It is His love that takes over when my love gets tired.
It is His love when we don’t see eye to eye, but listen anyway.
It is His love that mends what is broken and restores what is damaged and heals what hurts.
It is the greatest of all things…faith, hope and love…but the greatest is love. His love given to us so that we might love one another <3