As the deer…..

Yesterday morning I found myself reading Psalm 42….As the deer pants for water, so my soul longs after You.

I can never read these words anymore without singing them.

We learned a praise chorus in our first months at FCC many years ago based on this Psalm.

Russ and I had grown up Presbyterian and Methodist so as adults we found a church that worked and attended for years. We knew hymns. Played with the organ. We had never heard of praise choruses. (*added 3/26/2014 – a PS post today regarding any misinterpretation of this!)

Then God led us to First Christian.

We would follow the copied handouts of the praise and worship music and take them home each week to learn them by heart.

Our kids learned them quickly. We sang them in the car.

We were also learning things like grace, and the Blood of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We were learning about relationship with Christ, not religion.

And so as I sat before my Bible Sunday morning, and I read the words of Psalm 42, they rose sweet and precious in my heart.

But the heart is deceptive above all things. And when your children are now adults, living miles away, hopefully attending church later that morning and hopefully hearing the truth and hopefully panting like deer after the thirst – quenching only Christ can bring…a mom can find herself changing the words a bit….

And suddenly I am tearfully singing….

As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after the times when we sat side by side in church praising You together with our little white pieces of paper, learning about a deeper walk as a family…..

….and you know….

that’s just not the same….

as….

my soul…..

longing….

panting….

like a water starved doe….

for the Living Water.

And so, yesterday morning, another idol toppled as I humbled myself yet again, drug my wandering, selfish heart back to the Cross and confessed my need for Him.

The One who loves me, died for me, saves me, forgives me and lives, always and forever….the One who quenches my thirst and feeds my hungry soul and gathers me back every time I wander.