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Blessed are the care givers <3

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This is for the weary ones who sit alone in silent tears…thankful for the mercy of God to allow them to be the care giver to a loved one…realizing the blessing in the weight of a heavy heart…the kindness of God to allow them to bear the burden of love.

I have been in your shoes and I can tell you that the precious refining of the sacrifice of love and time will change you in ways that make you more compassionate…more longing for Home…more grateful for grace <3

This was written several months before my own father succumbed to the final stages of Alzheimers and aging in 2010.

I am particularly sensitive that one dear man in Washington state may be reading this and so to my dad’s little brother, I say …. I love you and I am so thankful for you and Aunt Ella Mae <3

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It really is the end.

A wheelchair replaces the bow-legged walk down the hall. Sweat pants and sweat shirt replace the soiled pants and button down shirt with the inevitable pocket to keep his notebook in.

He isn’t angry, but he isn’t really happy either. Just in a fog. I think he knows me, but hard to tell. Trying to make conversation, his words are nonsense. He is embarrassed because he couldn’t swallow his medicine and now it is a wet spot on his shirt.

He looks at me, but doesn’t see.

It isn’t like I wish he was the way he was before. That wasn’t any better. Just a different kind of awful.

I don’t feel sorry for me. It hurts more than anyone can know, but I don’t feel sorry for me.

I don’t feel sorry for him either. It’s just another part of life for both of us. Another part that is hard and seems cruel, but it’s just another part.

In it are sweet things.

Things like a fall pumpkin he made in crafts. It’s obvious he had a lot of help, but still he thinks he made it.

When I tell him it is beautiful, and I really mean it because it is, he thanks me in his own way. Though the words make no sense, I can tell by the way he moves his head what he is saying.

When I think of how my mom was spared the pain of this, I can’t stop thanking God. I can’t think of anything but how thankful I am to Him that she never had to see this. I am thankful it is not my sister. I am thankful it is me.

When I told him I love him, he said “me too”. I asked him if he meant he loves me or he loves himself. He laughed. I am going to believe he got the joke and it made him laugh.

The laugh and the pumpkin are enough for today. God’s grace poured out for one more visit, tangible in a fall decoration on the seat next to me.

Tomorrow will bring another dose of grace for that day. Tonight the tears flow from my tiredness. Tomorrow will bring new mercies.

Hang in there precious care giver, loved by God.

You are the tangible touch of Christ and the ministry of His hands to one of His precious children…I pray today you know HIS ministry to YOU <3

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.

Galatians 6:9-10  The Message (MSG)

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8 Comments

    1. Thank you Teresa. Still six years later, when I read it I remember the day I wrote it. I remember sitting in the car looking at that little pumpkin and crying so hard. Russ was such a help to me – all the kids were amazing, but at those times of leaving the nursing home I was so thankful for Jesus to hold my heart together.

  1. Well, the tears are rolling down my face, Laura! This is so beautiful. I read and wonder ….why you had this burden, and why I was spared! My daddy had Alzheimers , but was spared the final, most painful stages, thanks to…….( how can I say this) lymphoma , which took him swiftly, before we had to deal with the real pain of this horrible disease! Yes, I have many times thanked our Father for taking Daddy swiftly and painlessly, while he still knew me! Life is such a mystery…why should I be spared your pain??!! You, Sweet Laura, deserved so much more than I, the mercy God granted me. Some things we will never understand, this side of Heaven.
    Thank you for sharing your precious and beautiful story. It does help people like me to recognize my abundant blessings…so undeserving!❤️ you, Laura!!

    1. Susie, we don’t get to write our story or the story of our loved ones. We trust the Story Writer. I knew that God did not let my dad linger one moment longer than he needed on this earth to be prepared for his Homecoming. Bless you sweet one! And I am blessed that he recognized my face to the end <3

  2. God Bless you. I always believe that God never gives us anything more than we can handle and that is proven with us and Terri. By the way she is now back at Rocky Bay Health Care and doing quite well. Yesterday they had her up in the wheelchair and getting ready to give her a bubble bath. They treat her so nice. Love you.

    1. Truly the hardest role of “care-giver” is a parent for a child their whole life. Terri has been loved and blessed by the care of her family. So glad she is better and has returned to her home. That was quite a scare and we were praying for her! Hugs <3

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