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Of Valumtime’s and such <3

Oh my…it really is Thursday already, again.

When I write the date this week I have to gulp realizing January is all but over.

Time is accelerating, my friends.

I have a few dozen thoughts swirling around in me.

Like all of you I have penned letters and comments and tirades and pleadings this past week that I would like to launch out there in the arena.

And none of it would benefit you one iota, so I come today with a simple story and I pray God speaks through it to you in whatever way He might choose.

I pray you listen to whatever He whispers through my words.

Last week our Rachel sent out a video to family by text.

It features Graham, fresh from his bath with damp hair askew.

He is wearing a pair of How the Grinch Stole Christmas PJ’s that he winds around his fingers while reciting a precious Valentine’s poem.

Only he says “Valumtimes” …

and he uses all the appropriate tones that I am sure are exactly how the teacher taught it.

His voice goes up and down as he pauses briefly for effect.

And when he gets near the surprise ending, he starts a slow smile as if he can’t wait to see his hearer respond in delight at the fun twist the poem takes.

And I know all of this because I have watched it repeatedly..multiple times.

The first viewing, as I sat holding my phone, I literally thought my heart was going to break in 10,000 pieces of love.

I seriously felt an intensely painful level of joy that I cannot explain.

Those hazel gray eyes, that never fail to melt me, looked directly through the back of his mom’s iPhone, penetrated the gigabytes of the internet and carved an even deeper groove of love in this Lola-heart.

I wanted to reach through that screen and wrap him up in my arms and hold him tightly.

I wanted to protect him from ever being so grown up or jaded that he might roll his eyes at his five year old self.

I wanted to hold him forever in this sweet moment and protect him from anyone or anything that would ever cause him harm or shame or fear or doubt. Or me from having to watch it happen.

But I can’t.

Loving people is hard.

It gets messy and it hurts.

It cuts down into places and mixes joys and sorrows until they flow into one huge surge that can be more than you bargained for when you opened your heart and let someone in.

The longer I live the more I learn about it….

and the more I realize how little I know.

So when God says He loves me and that His ways are higher than mine…I can’t even take it in.

And when He says He so loved the world…

the whole stinking, messy, confused, lost, totally-not-at-all-Valumtime’s-cute world…

that He sent His one and ONLY Son to save it….

that any single one of us who believes in Him will be forever wrapped in HIS LOVE…

I am undone.

Finally and completely undone.

So I bow my head and thank Him.

God bless you all to grow in love…even though it hurts…

may our hearts expand this week in new ways as we learn to love like He does <3

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