The way it is <3

 Can I be honest?
This has been an emotional week…


Among other things, we have a grandson starting kindergarten and his brother starting preschool, and I am pretty sure it was like 15 minutes ago I put their mom on a big yellow bus in a little pink and white striped skirt toting a backpack that was twice her size.

I waved bravely and turned back to our house bawling my eyes out.

And lest you think I pulled it off, I didn’t.

Those serious green eyes caught her mom through the bus window and she reported to me after school that she knew I had cried.

I haven’t matured much.


Tonight I had a meeting after work so I called on the way home to see how Graham’s first day went.

They were reading stories for bed so I used that as an excuse to cut the conversation short before the lump in my throat betrayed me.

I told them I wouldn’t take their time, but Graham assured me I could “stay as long as I wanted”.

Rachel knows we lose cell service at one point en route to home so she offered to keep the phone active until Lola lost reception.

I listened raptly to some tale about a knight and some children and books kept in a tree. while I simultaneously prayed furiously that somehow tonight the new monster-poles that were installed last spring on the bridge that leads to our house wouldn’t interfere with my reception.

But they did.

The phone went dead and her voice stopped and I dissolved into the sorriest mess of tears.

And sometimes…that is just how life is.


We are cut off from what we love.

Too soon…before the story got finished.

It is the nature of change.

Change always comes before we are ready and, in truth, life is nothing but a series of changes.

Change means loss of something…and even though we know good things will come; there is a period where there is often simply a profound sense of knowing that what we had is gone.

I am so thankful for the unchanging faithfulness of God in the midst of the shiftings of life.

Because He is not bound by time…He is already up ahead AND right here with us now.

Walking us through, helping us along, holding us up.

He knows the way into what lies ahead…because He is the way.

He understands and has compassion for us as we go through the process of grief, even as He is preparing us for our new destination.

He doesn’t berate us or rush us, because He knows what we are made of.

He knows because He once wore this frail human garment.

Traded heaven for this crazy walk on earth…the same world that you and I are crawling through, dancing through….dragging our feet and running ahead in…the ups and downs, highs and lows… He knows.


May God bless you in the midst of whatever your week looks like with the knowledge of His deep love and care for you and all that concerns you <3

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  1. Beautifully said, Laura. I remember reading in a John Eldridge book that we must grieve our losses or they come back to bite us (not in those exact words, of course!) And the way we do that is to acknowledge that we are grieving, steadily walking through them, and soak in God’s beauty all around us. Transitions always bring loss, loss brings grief. So thankful that our God never changes and he never leaves us to walk through it alone!!!

    1. One of the greatest blessings of opening up some pretty private parts of me that I would love so much to hide away in safe places is that God uses them to reach precious friends that I didn’t even know read this stuff…you just made my day, my friend <3 thank you

  2. Sent Maria on the bus a few moments ago…grumbling that a freshman has to ride a bus with grade schoolers. Wouldn’t let me take her picture. As the bus pulled away, I wept because I missed the younger first days of school that were more joyful. Feeling sad. Then read your post & reminder that God never changes, loves me & Maria, lifts me out of the miry pit & sets my feet on solid rock of His unchanging Word, so I set my face like flint. Press onward this day in praise & not doubt. Acknowledging that my home is not flooded or burned. Feeling ashamed & grateful at the same time. So, a cup of coffee & forge ahead this first day of school. Blessings be upon your say, Laura.

    1. amen amen…I remember one year all I could get for the first day of school picture was a 7th grader’s backside headed down the street to catch the bus…sigh…and yes…coffee and Jesus do wonders for an aching heart <3 Bless you...you do not sow in vain <3

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