We are packing up and getting ready to head home and while it was nice to see green and sun, this Midwestern girl is ready to return to the land of 20 degree, snow dusted flatness for miles; where four cars and a tractor constitutes a traffic jam.
Because as all of us from the middle of America know from birth…
it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.
And the lizzards.
My husband can vouch for me that I have one answer to the question, “Would you ever want to live in ___________?”
Do they have snakes and humidity?
Because either of those and my answer is a big, fat no.
Which is why I am pretty sure Ireland would be my perfect location, but the commute to see family is the deal breaker on that one.
On the prairie, we have humidity but it confines itself mostly to summer and we excuse that because the corn loves it.
And since the corn puts food on most of our tables, we put up with it.
But even our humidity does not hold a candle to Miami.
I have such thin, fine hair that often I barely get the hair dryer plugged in and it’s half dry.
Here I have found my arms going to sleep as I lifted wet strand after wet strand up to the hot air.
When I think it is finally somewhat dry and I walk to my curling iron, it has somehow gained moisture on the trek and I am back to the hair dryer.
I have somehow perfected the art of spiral curling it which helps because as it wilts and coagulates with my hair spray, it kind of looks like the regular way I curl it.
Until I step outside and then I look a little like Dennis the Menace with a bad haircut.
Which is really okay because hopefully this makes me look unappealing to the various large lizards that seem to have no fear of humans. What. So. Ever.
And then there is the unpredictable nature of golf balls…which thankfully they behaved when I walked the track a couple of times.
I did enjoy an outing to Little Havana which gave me the opportunity to practice my espanol. Our waitress was super impressed and began saying everything in Spanish.
I smiled a lot and hope I didn’t agree to anything I am going to regret.
All in all, it was a wonderful experience to be in a different place and meet new people…
But we are ready to get home to our normal and our friends and family although the boys are expecting me to tuck a reptile or two in my suitcase for a souvenir for them.
No mas, mi amigo…no mas….